Indecisive No Longer: “Maybe”

When I was in AmeriCorps, one of my teammates, Jessica, and I were paired for a team-building activity. We were to come up with up with a name for our team. We couldn’t decide on one. When it came time for us to say our name all we could think of was “in” and “decisive.” I’m still not sure who was which.

I think I have always felt a little indecisive.

Since coming to Mongolia, and particularly now after being at site, however, I can firmly say that I am more direct now than I have ever been. I attribute that in large part to the word “maybe.”

Maybe, it seems to me, is as much a part of Mongolian culture as anything else: Are we going to have a meeting today? Maybe. Why did students not come to class today? Maybe it’s because they think classes are boring. When will the heating problem be fixed? Maybe tomorrow.

Sometimes I just want to know if it will or if it will not, if the answer is yes or no, if we can or cannot. Sometimes, then, I just need to say, because no one else will, that it won’t, that the answer is yes or that we can.

I knew before I came here that Mongolian people are lax, that being on time, for example, does not meant the same thing here as it does in America. Being hours “late” is the same thing sometimes as being on time. Waiting is customary. Waiting is expected.

Sometimes I just can’t wait. Sometimes it is important to do. Sometimes someone just needs to get the ball rolling. At work, that person is usually me. It’s not a role with which I am very accustom or necessarily comfortable, but it’s feeling more natural each time I do it.

Other times it is okay to wait. Maybe it’s not always necessary to have an answer to know what’s going on.